One last time

Salam

I gave up my only means of entrance there. I am now an outsider. No longer welcomed there. Its the harsh fact of life, once its over, its over. I got paid what I gave to the exact most value, not a penny more, not a penny less.

Tomorrow will see me standing there for the last time, and talk about it for years to come. The heartless times, the headless arguments, the scrutiny over every small detail. Inside out, we've seen it all. I've had my time with you, its been 2 winters and a little more. The golden glimmer of summer has gone, our time has come.

Farewell dissecting room. May my memories of you serve me well.

All the best to fellow medics. Lets nail this final spot test through and through!

"Allhumma najjihna fil imtihaan, fiddunya wal akhirah"

Transcending boundaries

I effing love it when we talk about transcending boundaries and living in a global community. We call this 'world without boundaries' (maybe thats why Israel marched into Palestine and took it out of their hands). Not only a loss to Palestinians but also a massive loss to Muslims.

Anyway, my post is not going to dwell on that issue as I have less than adequate knowledge to speak about it. However, what I want to say is the fact that we're losing our cultural and religious identity. Malaysian muslim's dress and behave like the western population. Try walking into a lecture hall wearing a full baju melayu. Suddenly you'll feel gazes plumetting onto you like its raining sheeps and cows. Are you proud of being different and original or do you feel like 'f*ck it, I'm never gonna do that again'? Thats only the material side of being different. How about using a corner of a building to perform solat when there are no facilities available? I can imagine how fast we'll try to read the compulsory surah Al-Fatihah and feeling adequate with the minimum SubhanAllah for ruku' and sujud. But lets not point fingers, we're all the same.

I'm not saying its wrong for us be like others but when it comes to eradication and total demolition of cultures, a fine line needs to be drawn. If not, you'll end up with this:

But by far, this is my favourite:

Don't we all love a bit of assimilation?

Disclaimer: I'm not being racist or am I saying Indian's don't have originality. Rather, its the opposite. Their ability to make everything 'Indian' deserve a huge hand of applause.

Answers

Kes 1:

Ye, Si A telah menembak Si B.

Kes cab fire ini melibatkan pembunuhan aktif, membunuh seseorang dengan perbuatan dan niat untuk membunuh. Kerap kali dalam dunia perubatan, doktor dilibatkan dengan pembunuhan baik ataupun nama masyhurnya, euthanasia. Perkara ini telah dikategorikan kepada 2, iaitu aktif dan pasif. Pasif euthanasia adalah bertujuan untuk mendatangkan maut kepada seseorang dengan cara tidak melakukan apa-apa. Contohnya, membiarkan seorang bayi yang lahir dengan sindrom Down beserta komplikasi "duodenal atresia' (incompatible with life), yakni ketiadaan saluran yang terbuka di duodenum, untuk mati meskipun pembedahan kecemasan mampu menyelamatkannya. Inilah pasif euthanasia. Kalo aktif euthanasia pula, bayi yang sama diberi suntikan toksin yang mampu membunuhnya. Kedua-dua perkara ini mungkin dilihat untuk kebaikan bayi tersebut ekoran kualiti hidup yang mungkin sangat terjejas sekiranya diselamatkan dan dibesarkan. Namun, kerap kali kita lihat pasif euthanasia dibenarkan tetapi euthanasia aktif dilihat sebagai membunuh.

Hujah yang dikemukan pleh sesetengah pihak agar euthanasia aktif dibenarkan adalah merujuk kepada kes cab fire td. Jika euthanasia pasif dipilih, maka Si B akan mati rentung dan terseksa dengan amat sangat. Demi meringankan beban dan kesakitan yang dialami, adalah lebih mudah jika ditembak sahaja Si B. Perkara ini tidak akan memberikan hasil yang berbeza kerana akhirnya, ajal adalah yang menanti Si B. Jadi, adakah menamatkan nyawa seseorang itu dengan pantas lebih baik daripada membiarkannya terseksa perlahan-lahan? Sedangkan untuk menyembelih haiwan Qurban pon makruh jika pisau tunpul digunakan?

Pendapat saya kepada isu ini ialah tembak sahaja sesiapa yang gatal timbulkan isu euthanasia ini. Sudah bertahun-tahun saya belajar dan sehingga kini, perdebatan ini tiada penhujungnya. Umpana mencari hujung sebuah roda yang berputar. =P

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Mengenai isu Switzerland, negara ini adalah satu-satunya negara yang membenarkan assisted suicide kepada bukan warganegara. Hal ini bermaksud sesiapa sahaja yang masuk ke Switzerland boleh membunuh diri dengan bantuan daripada doktor perubatan. Jadi, jika anda rasa anda main ski di Switzerland, jatuh, patah tulang belakang, lumpuh daripada tengkuk kebawah dan separa lumpuh pada bahagian muka dan tiada lagi tujuan untuk hidup, maka saya cadangkan anda terima sahaja kaedah ini sebagai penamat riwayat.

Kepala otak anda.

Cab fire and Switzerland

Salam
I'm supposed to be finishing off my 2nd and 3rd precis but I just can't be bothered to do it right now. So Saleem and Andrew, you can wait for me. Hehe.


Sekarang saya akan menulis pasal cab fire. Saya tulis dalam bahasa Melayu supaya kalau saya memilih untuk menggunakan kes ini dalam karangan etika saya, sekurang-kurangnya turn-it-in tidak akan mengecam penulisan ini sebagai satu plagiat.

Perhatian dan fokus saya tertarik kepada satu kes yang dibentang oleh pensyarah etika saya. Kes ini berkenaan dua orang sahabat yang pergi memburu. Mereka berburu di satu kawasan yang agak terpencil, bolehlah dianggap kawasan itu sebagai:

*tutup mata anda dan bayangkan senario ini*
"angin dingin bertiup kencang. Kelihatan butir-butir salji melayang di udara. Kiri dan kanan jalan dipagari pohon-pohon konifer yang tegak berdiri, hijau tidak jejas dek musim. Kerana itulah ianya dipanggil evergreen. di sebalik semak samun kelihatan pancaran-pancaran cahaya cerah, umpama pemantul cahaya pada lampu belakang sebuah motosikal. Menariknya, cahaya ini kelihatan kekuningan. Jika ditumpukan perhatian dengan lebih lagi, seluruh lantai hutan konifer tersebut disinari cahaya ini. Merekalah yang digelar 'nightcrawlers'. Wap air mula mengaburi permukaan hadapan cermin kerera, suluhan lampu kereta hanya mampu mara sejauh beberapa meter. Sahutan burung hantu kedengaran, keadaan hening dan menyeramkan. Bulu roma tertegak umpama lidi sate yang dihunus menembusi nasi himpit."

Ok, cukup-cukup sekadar itu. Dua sahabat tersebut sedang pulang daripada expedisi memburu mereka. Dalam perjalanan pulang, kereta mereka terbabas, lalu terbalik. Seorang daripada sahabat tersebut berjaya menyelamatkan diri dan keluar daripada kereta tersebut. Seorang lagi tersepit di dalam, meraung-raung meminta bantuan. Si A, berusaha keras untuk membantu menyelamatkan Si B. Malangnye, Si B betul-betul tersepit dan tidak boleh diselamatkan. Hal ini adalah kerana kereta tersebut mula dijilat api dan terus marak hingga usaha menyelamat tidak membuahkan hasil. Bantuan tidak mungkin akan tiba dalam masa terdekat ekoran kedudukan mereka pada ketika itu yang jauh terpencil. Si A tidak sanggup melihat rakan baiknya Si B terus dijilat api dan kemungkinan akan menemui ajal yang sungguh menyeksakan. Yang ada pada Si A hanyalah senapang burunya.

Soalan cepumasnya ialah:

Jika anda Si A, apakah yang akan anda lakukan?

C) Anda akan menangis dan melihat sahaja rakan baik anda itu mati dimamah api dunia
D) akan akan menembak Si B agar ajalnya 'dipermudahkan' dan tidak terseksa untuk jangka waktu yang lama

Kesimpulan kepada cerita ini akan disampaikan dalam coretan yang akan datang. Untuk makluman semua, ini adalah kisah benar dan sudah termaktub sebagai satu teori dan kes dalam dunia etika dan perundangan.

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If you're feeling down and you feel theres no more to life, then let me take you to Switzerland. It will be a very happy ending there. =)

The reason for this will also be included in my next post insyaAllah. =)

Somewhere

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&feature=channel

"...Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I..."

10.10.10

Mmg style la tarikh arini
Nak tunggu the next one would be next year i guess, 11.11.11
Hehe. But whats so stylish about it?
I guess 16.06.88 is just as stylo as it is.
Or 13.09.08. Or even 09.07.60.
My special day would be 16.06.16, a thursday malam jumaat, if it ever comes.
Its just something that pleases the eye.
And its another day in the calender, gone in time.
To all those people out there, make it count, special or not! =)
The day started with beautiful sunshine, may it end just a beautiful day, insyaAllah.

*buka buku write up precis*

Eat, Sleep, Pray

I'm a massive fan of Julia Roberts
And her new movie is out. But I've not watched it yet. Thinking about it.

Anyway, just how important is getting the spiritual side of things right?

Roberts' movie is more like a quest in finding inner peace I think. Not that I've seen it, but thats what I've been told. It's amazing really how people go on pilgrimages, scouring the whole world in search of 'peace'. Madonna had the kabalah. Cat Steven found Islam. So did Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali. Its alway working towards an infinite objective. I believe every word uttered by Ustazah Johaina. What is your purpose in life? There is only one objective and purpose that will not leave you deserted and that is lillahi Taala. There will never a definite amount of things you can do to please The Almighty, therefore you will live your life purposeful. If you want to get rich, once you get rich what do you do? If you want a family and kids, once you get that what do you do? If you so badly want a holiday, once your term ends you just go beserk and lost.

I am looking for something to revive me. Its only been the 2nd week of the term but I feel like I'm carrying the fatigue from last term. Is my physical, emotional or spiritual need that is unmet? What is this emptiness? I don't know, but it sure is taking its toll. I use to have a full face, slightly puffed cheeks, broader shoulders, better balance and an abundance of energy. But most of that is gone. You can call it disuse atrophy but I wanna know why. People see me and tell me I've become thin, listless, 'ghesang', kurus, slim, whatever synonym you can find. If I were a girl yeah, I might be beaming with pride but I'm not. Maybe I should take up yoga. Or maybe just spend more time going to the mosque. Free of charge.

Should I dance to make myself fitter? I dunno, what do you think?

I love the way they synchronise the dance. The bit by bit advancement in the dancers. Like properly choreographed. But, hey, when am I gonna be able to join in? Do I need to go to Chicago? Why can't I just join in anywhere and still fit in and move with synchrony? Maybe I can..

Anyway, I wanna take a break now. Push all books aside, get my drawing pad out, sit by the pier and draw all I can. Let the see breeze caress my cheeks, let the gulls glide with the waves. I wanna pull out my guitar and bask for the pedestrians. What a lovely dream. =)

Supernova

Salam.

My mentor once said:
"pressure turns coal into diamond"

I've held onto this quote ever since. My mentor has no idea how these words of hers stay engraved on my baffled mind. I like the fact that potential and talent can be developed and groomed into a way that would highten its value, from crude unpolished, uncut rocks into glistening, glimmering things in glass cases at Habib Jewels.

I believe I am a star. I'm not stoned, trust me when I'm writing this. Its just a feeling that I've got so much more to live up to, so much more to achieve. I don't like whining, I believe in myself and the fact that only myself is a barrier to greater success. But then again, I pray Allah grants me humility with the greater knowledge He bestows upon me from his vast oceans of academic wealth. From His perpetual wealth of inexhaustible materials.

One day I'ld like to go back and tell my mentor:

"pressure turns gas into stars"

From a nebula, I condense under the force of my own weight and magnetic forces, minimising the surface I expose to the universe, hiding away my potential in order to expose it for better purposes one day hence. I contract and attract impurities, my only innate lifelong teacher is my experience.

As I am pressured by the hydraulics of life, I start to glow, enough for me to realise my potentials and work towards honing myself. I give out light, but only a faint glimmer in the pitch black ebony of the night. Like a firefly hovering along the bank of a river in the midst of a new moon, its rays flickering as if blown and caressed by the midnight wind. I feel the temperature rising, a protostar is born!

With the elevation of chemistry inside the neurons of my brain, the pyramidals, astrocytes, ependymals, oligodendrocytes, microglias, all in synchrony playing the for orchestra of education, with books and teachers and lecturers as the conductor, nuclear reactions start to take place. Links are created, matter are fused and therefore the birth of combustible ideas and attitude.

As a main sequence star, I can only give out light, hopefully to aid and navigate others in need. I stop contracting, as I myself need further development. The hydrogens continue to fuse into helium, creating my helium core as I twinkle in the heavens above. I hope to serve humanity as long as I can, be it as a doctor, a student, a son, a muslim, a brother or by just being human and humane. I shine steadily as my physical core is sustained over the years of nuclear reactions. Before we realise, our time ends sooner than we think.

When my helium core is made surrounded by cooling gases, all thats left of me is a red supergiant. I have come to my peak, and this is all that I can contribute to the world. I am only a traveller in time, and as time passes by, so do I. All thats gone cannot be returned, and with the laws of nature, I follow suit.

With my aged iron core, I degrade and wither with the rotations of the mechanics inside my wristwatch. My disintegration and decay is unstoppable, as the mitochondrias inside me expose the cells of my body to further oxygen radical attacks. The electrons desert the transport chain, activating caspase and apoptosis of the body cells. the longer you live, the more oxygen radical attacks you face from the ever combusting mitochondrias. Thats why women have their ovums made prebirth, to protect the manufacturing process from life long exposure to radicals. Anyway, I deteriorate only to see myself perished and gone with the winds.

As I come to to cease, all thats left are memories. There will be a time when everyone will talk about me, at least hopefully. And that is the time when I lay frozen on my deathbed, ready to be fed to the earth and its decomposing inhabitants. That moment in time is momentary only, lasting no longer than the supernova of the star I once was. The whole universe will be blinded, but no longer than the flash of a xenon lightbulb in modern cameras.

On earth, I will leave behind only 1 of 2 legacies. I might become a tiny neutron star, that continues to shine in the background, unnoticed, insignificant to the life of others. On the contrary, become a black hole that absorbs everything and become the talk of generations to come. I only hope all thats left to say of me are prayers to help me on The Day of Judgement. InsyaAllah.

To pen off, I leave you with a song by my favourite band. Indulge!