Bola lagi cantik

Kau kutuk bola
kau kata itu kerja yahudi
kau kata kalo tgk bola smpi extra time, tmbh debar
tp knape kalo solat extra time x debar?

aku pelik
ko kata ko perjuang sana sini
kau kata apa aku buat tuh lagha
kau dok termenung berjam-jam depan ebay tuh kt mana manfaat?
kau dok baca manga, lyn series, main game, apa manfaat?
still ko nk label org tgk bola tuh lagha
aku lagi kecewa dgn kau
even man utd klh dgn liverpool aku x kecewa mcm ni

kau nmpk bola tuh seketul halangan besar
tp kau xnmpk, yg kau dok wat tuh lg bahaya
yg kecil-kecil tuh lagi menjahanamkan
mcm kau kata budak main tepi jalan tuh nk mati
kena langgar kang baru kau tahu
tp perkara tuh one-off je
yang kau dok mkn mende berlemak hari-hari
kau ingat kau xley mati dgn cara tuh?
kau rasa mana lagi seksa?
mati sejenak kena langgar ke,
mati melarat dgn darah tinggi, kencing manis, dan lain?

itu la kau di mata aku
kau label org mmg cukup pandai
bukan aku nk kata apa kau buat tuh salah
tp aku harap kau ubah diri kau
kita sama-sama ubah diri kita

aku x pernah tgk fan man utd bergado sesama sendiri
aku x pernah tgk fan liverpool tikam sama sendiri
aku x pernah tgk fan arsenal saling bertumbuk
aku x pernah tgk fan chelsea saling sepak terajang maki hamun

tapi kenapa kau bwh satu badan nk berpuak?
kenapa kau yang perjuangkan benda suci, masih pilih bulu?
knapa kau x berani tunjuk muka dalam debat ilmiah?
kenapa kau lancar onak-onak penyakit hati?
knapa kau hanya tahu kutuk belakang tp x berani bersemuka?

kalo sakit melarat, kaki dipotong
boleh selamatkn betis, potong jari kaki
boleh diselamatkan paha, potong betis
boleh diselamatkan pinggang, potong paha
kalo dah xleh diselamatkan, maka keluarkan la apa yang bermanfaat kepada org ramai
janganlah kau tinggal di dalam
nescaya kau akan turut jahanam

moga kalamku sampai ke benakmu

Terbaik

Dulu kalo aku panas, aku wat mende ni
kalo hati aku panas, pon aku wat mende ni
kalo hari panas, aku wat mende ni



skrg ble aku panas, aku tatau nk wat apa
ble hati aku panas, aku tatau nk wat apa
ble hari panas, aku tatau nk wat apa

gua kelam. bukit wang. kota tinggi. lata bayu. lata kinjang. cemor. batu hampar.

I'm just ordinary

Hey, I'ld like you to meet Bob

You see, Bob is just a normal 20year old.

well, i'ld say a bit more than normal. but nothing out of the ordinary.

you see bob wakes up to his favourite band. he loves their music, he's been listening and watching their shows and tracks as long as he can remember.

he goes to school in london. yup, he loves the lecturer just as much as he love his favourite band. To him, his lecturer makes everything easy. But he hardly knows his lecturer but he still loves him just as much.

anyway, back from school, he goes out to see his friends. not that faraway i'ld say. they all live bunched up together and everyone can see everyone. everyone can almost know what everyone is doing. and thats why bob loves it. its effortless!

tired of his friends, he takes to the pitch. yeap, it wouldn't hurt if he ran 8.5miles on average in a football match. thats where i say he's a bit more than normal. he's soo fit that again, its effortless! he loves it and so does his friends.
8.5miles on a team average of 7.4miles is not that bad at all! bravo bob! even his fingers are growing muscles. thats how active he is.

anyway, bob goes out again to meet some friends. after a couple of hours, he gets tired of it so he goes to watch a concert. he loves it i tell you.

at the end of the day, he shifts around to his bed and is off to lalaland.

you see, bob is a fat unhealthy blob that sits on his armchair.

its all virtual i tell you. bye reality.

I miss summer!

Used to be my favourite this one!

and this one is not too bad itself!

Ya Allah, provide me the strength

Its gonna be exactly 2weeks post-op come the day tomorrow. and alhamdulillah, my leg is getting better. i'm able to partially flex my leg, and almost fully extend it. too bad inactivity and the braces i wear each day causes disuse atrophy on my quads and hamstring, the right thigh being shrunken to a much smaller size compared to my left, and well beyond the size both were during my prime sporting times dulu.

"mukhlis, mukhlis, are you awake?"

the nurse in recovery called out to me, trying to wake me up from the crazy anaesthesia they gave me, general and local. Last thing i remembered was being in the ante-room to the operation theatre, the anaesthetist re-running me through my anaesthesia jabs again.

*****

"we'll give you this general anaesthetic so that you won't feel a thing when you're in there. we'll also give you a local anaesthetic at the top of your hip, it should totally numb the front two thirds of your knee and quads. Its to help with the pain when they'll be drilling your knee and thigh bone. I won't say you won't feel any pain at all, but it will certainly help"

"ok, i'm going to give you the general anaesthesia first through your cannula. your hand's going to be a bit fuzzy but its nothing to worry about"

so the anaesthetist inoculated me with some milky white stuff, my hand immediately vibrating with pain as it entered my body through the cannula at the back of my left palm. I was thinking shit, this thing is crazy!

as he finished inoculating, he waved the oxygen over my mouth.

"this will help you sleep"

before the oxygen mask even touched my face, i was out numb and desensitized.
it was 8.30am.

*****

at 2.30pm, i was in recovery with the nurse calling my name.

"how are you feeling?"

"my leg is aching! urghhhhh!!!!"

the nurse immediately told me she was going to give me morphine through my cannula again. as she did, she started pushing down loads of saline.

"you're sensitive towards morphine i'm afraid"

she was rubbing my forearm while pushing down more saline. i thought something was wrong, so i sluggishly glanced at my left arm. i saw my skin bulging everywhere, while the nurse was frantically rubbing at it. but i could'nt care much, the morphine did ease my pain. i then lapsed into another round of sleep, a loop that continued for several hours, me falling asleep and only waking up at intervals a few minutes long before passing out again. this was so bad that when food came, i had toast. i fell asleep while applying butter on my toast, waking up 2hours later to find it already turned cold. they sent me another set, only to find me taking a bite and passed out without even chewing or slowwing, waking up 3hours later to find the food still in my mouth. anaesthesia killed me this time. i was a zombie.

*****

1st week post-op, i took paracetamol and dihydrocodeine as painkillers. fearing i might run out of supply, i cut back at the 2 of each 4 times a day to only twice a day. that proved fruitless as the pain kicked in bad. i was grimacing and hold back breaths just to let time pass.

now since its been almost two weeks, ive only paracetamol left, taking it with ibuprofen, 2 of each before i sleep daily. yeah, these wonder drugs help me sleep as i believe the ibuprofen knocks me out each night. but unlucky for me, i jolt back up in bed only to meet 2 types of pain on a daily basis.

1. the analgesic effects of the drugs run out, giving me the killing painful sensation.
2. since i jolt up in bed so fast, i accidentally over-flex my right leg, giving me another jolt of excruciating electrical impulse radiating all over my body.

i used to take another round of these mild analgesias to help elevate the pain but hey, i guess i built up resistance. damn, i could eat the whole pack of paracetamol n ibuprofen but still be in pain. and eventually end up killing myself.

it was one day i found the alternative. i actually took wudhu' to perform subuh prayer that i found when i washed my leg with ice cold water, i focus on the freezing sensation over the pain.

now, nightly at hourly intervals, i would automatically wake up as if programmed to do so, just to bathe my leg in ice cold water for 5mins until it goes numb before i get back to sleep again. i tell you it works, but i hardly get quality sleep now. i nod off in lectures in the morning. this leg is really taking its toll on me.


"Ya Allah, peliharalah daku, kurniakanlah aku kesihatan, sembuhkanlah aku secepat mungkin kerana sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Penyembuh. Ringankanlah beban kesakitan yang aku tanggungi ini. Jadikanlah aku antara hamba-hambamu yang bersabar, beriman dan bertakwa kepadaMu. Engkaulah Maha Pemberi Hikmah disebalik setiap kejadian. Ameen"