Quotes

we are captives of our own identity, and prisoners of our own creations.


if thats how you make it, thats how its going to be. Plunge into a sea of sadness and you will drown in it. Look like a bad person, don't blame others for seeing you so. Pick the road of the lost and forbidden, serve your time well in the life to come.


Wallahualam bissa waab.
Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir batin.

Eid-ul-Fitr

Slmt Hari Raya semua
maaf zahir batin
mintak halal makan minum.

Target puasa tahun dpn:
1. puasa penuh (x penuh sbb surgery)
2. khatam quran time ramadhan (kali ni tinggal 1.5juzuk, syg gle)
3. x nk miss trawih (sakan sgt tgk bola)
4. kalo smpt, nk bbuka dgn family dan conchis on. =)

Slumber Life

Wish life was this easy

Somewhere only we know

Do you have a favourite spot? A place where you can be yourself, unleash the true side of you, cry you eyes out, laugh tilll you gasp harder for air than a severe asthma attack? Maybe I do.

xxx

As I approached the peak, I could feel the gush of cool, damp air brushing against my cheeks. It sends a shiver down my spine. Oh I love it there, the smell of damp grass, the faraway sight of neons and ever standing lamp posts. I would walk on the slanted surface, carefully placing each step as I go along, careful not to have a tragic death. The cold dew makes me wobble and sway with every keen step, excited to get to my spot. My spot. Every now and then, as I lay each step, sound of cracking slates caresses my ear. Damn, thats another spot to look out for.

As I lay there, facing the heavens, stars alight, the moon projecting its powerful yet graceful rays onto my body, I feel warmth. Not from the rays, but radiating from my veins, flowing and pulsating in my every inch, I just love the confidence this place gives me. I would put my to palms together, cusping and blowing hard, imitating the sound of the mighty owl that inhabits the legendary tree. I feel at ease, I feel serene, I feel at home.

xxx

Do you remember that spot we shared? Where we would lay on the grass, inhaling its ever sweet morning scent, dampen our skin with the pure dew? It was there, behind the white walls, we would roll around each other, admiring the stars, the huge pearl in the thick ebony sky, and the little shooting fellas that seems to bring a whole different kind of mystique. I loved that place. I still do.

You say you'ld rather sit up than lie down, coz you just shampooed your hair. But hey, you'll regret if you don't. This grass won't always be there waiting for us to feel it nor will the crickets be there to sing for us. Take this moment and treasure it. You and I both know it will always be special to us. It always will.

We'ld lie flat on our bellies, you a bit lifted due to the size of yours. At every sound of civilization, we'ld pretend dead coz all we want is each other and the place we love. We lie in shades of the blossoming trees, pretending to be stones. We elude the eyes of humans, cos all we want is ourselves, noone else. I'ld stroke your hair, taking in the scent of Head&Shoulders as you lay on my lap. You'ld chat away happily as I listened, drowned in the surreal haven of our's. Maybe one day we can go back to this place, just us.

Loop

I dunno, but these nostalgic sentiments just have to kick in. But why not eyh? Been putting them on loop for the past few hours. Just never got bored i guess.

1. Tears and rain
2. The Way
3. Insomnia (wheesung)
4. The Scientist
5. Somewhere only we know

serenity, tranquility and soothing too. Thats what you get from these free illegally downloaded songs. Who cares.

Warkah Abdullah

Salam,

Abdullah sihat? Dh nk dekat sebulan ayah x dgr berita psl abdullah. Mama pon xde mention psl anak ayah ni. Maybe mama bz kot. anyway, ayah saja je tulis surat ni utk abdullah. ye la, dh lama x dgr khabar kan?

So, amcam life skrg? dah dpt ramai kawan ke? aritu ayah ada singgah nike pnye outlet. rasa mcm nk bli kasut n baju utk abdullah, tp ntahla, takut anak ayah ni x muat plak. kang ayah bli, anak ayah ni cpt benor mmbsr. nk ukur cemana pon tatau, maklumla kan dh lama ayah x jumpa.

so, abdullah dh wat decision? kamu nk jd tinggi mcm mama ke mcm ayah? kalo mcm mama, hehe, mmg jd rendah la kamu. kalo mcm ayah, at least berdiri sama tinggi dgn org putih. mana2 pon, ayah x kesah. ayah n mama syg kt abdullah mcm tuh jugak. xlebih, xkurang.

ayah n mama ada bincang, kami plan nk bg abdullah pendidikan yg all-rounded. so, pertama-tamanye mmg abdullah pnye sekolah la kn. mama kata mmg kena hntr boarding school. ayah pon ok je kalo anak ayah ni gi boarding school sbb ayah rasa mmg akan buat kamu jd org yg berdikari. kamu minat maths x? ayah lemah sket bab2 maths ni. mama kata kamu ada ckp kamu lemah maths. aiyoo, ni la pyh ble xde genetic pandai maths ni. hahahahaha. ok2, tolak tepi dulu bab maths tuh. psl boarding school, kamu sure ke kamu xkn hanyut? ayah sendiri dh byk tgk kwn2 ayah hanyut. sejak ayah sekolah lg. eventhough in the end diorg akan sedar bahawa diorg tuh hanyut, but some of them mcm agak terlambat baru nk sedar. so ayah xnk la anak ayah mcm tuh. dh terlepas byk peluang utk baiki diri sendiri utk agama dan family, baru nk sedar. pape pon, ayah trust anak ayah ni. cuma, wat masa ni, ayah nk mintak maaf la kt kamu sbb maybe kamu rasa ayah x syg kamu, kecik2 dh hntr jauh2. tp ayah janji, satu hari nnt ayah n mama akan hidup skali dgn abdullah. Harap abdullah dpt maafkan la kami yer? =D

psl agama, mcm ayah dulu, petang2 ada sekolah agama. org kata kalo kt negeri johor, sistem pendidikan sekolah agama dia mmg mantap. walaupun bdk2 gi ptg2 semata2 nk jumpa kwn atau sbb parents yg suroh, still sedikit sbyk ada juga ilmu yg lekat kt kepala. abdullah nk x cmtu? pastu, lepas abeh skolah agama, ayah hntr kamu ngaji kt umah bilal taib nk? hebat orgnye bilal taib. ayah kagum dgn dia. wife dia ustazah sawilah ngajar kt sekolah agama yg ayah nk hntr kamu nnt. so insyaAllah ok la kot. kalo ada apa2 kt sekolah kamu x phm, kamu bley la tnye ustazah sawilah kt umah dia nnt time kamu ngaji. ok x?

mama kata kalo blaja music pon ok. ayah rasa, Islam x halang pon blaja mende ni. cuma cemana kita aplikasi yg jd bezanye. anyway, kamu nk blaja main gitar ke piano? mana2 pon kamu pilih, kalo campur dgn suara kamu, mama kata bley wat recording nnt! fuyyo!!! hahaha, kami just nk yg terbaik utk kamu, tuh je. sbb sstgh org, bley dia x pernah diberi pendedahan, ble dia jumpa mende2 mcm music ni at a later stage in life, fikiran dia jd kolot. ayah penah dgr org kata, cara pemahaman diorg ni terhadap ilmu agama dan ilmu2 lain agak sempit. papepon, ayah harap mende ni x jd la kt kamu ye?

skrg ni, tgh hangat musim bola. kamu minat team mana eh? dh lama x jumpa ni, ayah pon x brp nk ingat. masa kamu pergi dulu, kamu kecil lg.x kenal lg team2 bola kt UK tuh. harap2 kamu minat team sama mcm ayah la. sbb nnt kalo kamu blk rumah, bley la tgk match skali. kalo team lain2, jenuh nk kena bli tv n langgan astro sbijik lg utk team kamu plak. kalo ikot ayah, mmg xyah, tp mama kamu tuh syg kt kamu. she insist i get another just in case kamu x sokong sama team dgn ayah. hahaha, lawak la mama kamu tuh.

anyway, movie 500 days of summer dh kuar. mama kata nk ajak kamu tgk skali. tp ayah berat sket, takut kamu ni jenis mcm mama kamu. cukup pantang dpt cerita2 chick flick ni. hehehe, mau berambur korg berdua duet air mata n hingus kt movie nnt. ayah juga nk kena kesat. ayah ok je nk kesat, tp takut lupa tissue, abeh la lengan baju ayah jd mangsa. kena plak sorg dok sblh kiri, sorg sblh kanan, penuh snail trail kt lengan baju tuh. hehe. korg ni, like mother like child!

ok la abdullah, stakat ni dulu ayah tulis surat ni. ntah apa ayah ngarut. nk pdm, bazir ink pen. skrg ni, u take care. ayah n mama nk kamu tuh blaja btol2! jgn main2, ok? kalo ada mslh, contact la mama n ayah. kamu sentiasa doakan kejayaan dan kebahagiaan anak kami ni. kamu pon jdlah aset buat kami di akhirat kelak. jdlah anak yg soleh ok? can u do that for us? ok, i'll write to u again hopefully on ur birthday nnt. we dont know when we're gonna see u but im sure we will. you're definitely gonna wait for mama at the gates kn? i'll join you guys when i get there nnt ok! xpon mama can join us later if thats how its gonna b. orait, pen off!


yours lovingly,
ayah n mama