Saturday, 30 January 2010

Cycle




There was a time once when man hunted for food. The human anatomy and physiology allowed them to run, jump, climb, bite and get food any means that deemed necessary. Man could even swim well and hunt in the water. If they couldn't swim, they'ld use harpoons and javelins and nets to get food and it has never failed them.

But then, came a day when men thought that the food they were catching was not enough. So man created a thing called a boat that had paddles on it. It allowed men to hunt deeper into the sea where fish are present in abundance. Men really enjoyed this and started to try fish out more and more beings from the sea. They started bartering it with crops that men who lived on the hills grew. All in all, everything was great.

Then came a man who thought that it's unfair to trade rice with fish. Because with rice, you only need to plant it and let it grow. Back then, there was no fertilizers. All the used were animal poo to help the rice grow. Fishing men thought they worked a lot harder than the rice-growing men. SO they came up with money to make the value of the barter equal.

Seeing the fishermen were getting richer, the paddy field men started using cows and oxes to help them grow their crop. They could grow a lot more that way compared by just using their own man power. So paddy field men started using this method and it expanded throughout all the paddy growing regions. As time passed, even more sophisticated things were invented and the inventing continued.

The fishermen and farmers all gradually resorted to more 'modern' techniques to run their trade. From swimming and paddling, planting and harvesting, everything started to become motorised. All men were happy because it made life a lot easier for them. but unfortunately, they were becoming weaker physical wise as their muscles atophied and their stamina shrunk.

The olden days saw these type of men as strong as worriors, being able to take down a crocodile with their bare hands, wrestle a tiger and live to tell the story. But when they fell sick, it was difficult for them to recover and most of them passed away due to illness. Well, I guess theres always something to lose when you gain.

The modern people were less stronger but were healthier because they have better medicine. There are people called doctors and scientists who help modern people live longer. Thess modern people say they are living a better life compared to their ancestors. They can live up to 100years on average and are proud of it. They say everything nowadays are better. They don't have to walk or run or ride a horse to get from one place to another. They just buy these magical stuffs called tickets that allows them to get around and its much, much quicker and faster. I guess that's good then.

These modern people have everything so easy for them that they are no longer strong and muscular on the average level of society. More and more people are becoming fat and sluggish. There are now diseases which these people call diabetes, obesity, dementia and many more. I guess theres not really much difference from the primitive people. These people live longer and die another way. Its not like they live forever.

I would rather be people of the olden days where you live a shorter life, but very meaningful. You wake up in the morning thinking of your crops, livestock and the sea which you fish in. Day in day out, you do the same thing to keep yourself and your family alive. Everyone does the same thing and everyone is happy. Life might be shorter but I dare say, it wasn't wasted.

These people of the modern times are living a lot longer. They stress themselves up and get diseases like depression and anxiety. Whats worse, it's due to their own doing. Fishermen and farmes might get stressed but it would most likely to be nature caused than self inflicted. Anyway, back to the modern people. They live up to 100years but spend the last 20years of their lives not knowing who they are, who their children are or even being able to look after themselves. Because they don't look after themselves, they get all sorts of other secondary diseases. And yet, these people talk about high quality of life when they can't even urinate or defaecate at the right places. I'm not blaming them but which life would you opt for? If me, I'ld rather live a shorter life but knowing and being in control of myself. This is life i guess.

Remember me mentioning modern people are getting all sorts of modern diseases? Well, now they're all going back to primitive methods! They start running again on these machines called treadmills. My ancestor used to run around and boy I tell you he was as fit as an ox! I guess thats what I'm starting to do now. And soon, I believe they will say that running on a machine in a building is not good enough. So they'll make a wall that has electronic pictures of trees and streams and lakes just to give us the experience our ancestors had. But then they will also say that even with the screen or wall, there's not enough oxygen for us to breathe or not enough fresh air. So everyone will start running outdoors again, just like our ancestors.

Cars and lorries and motorbikes were created by modern people so that they can travel easily. But now they complain that these gadgets and toys are damaging the world. They want us to ride a bicycle now or walk if we can. I guess the world our ancestors lived in mustve been the best world ever since it wasn't damaged by these machines. They also say these machines are the cause of them getting fat. I pity these machines, they did no wrong! But its better having something else to blame than yourself right?

The younger modern people have books that allow them to play sports. Theyhave these stations that supplies sports. I just understand how this works. You see, when I play sports, I step on the grass, smell its scent, the mud's scent, the opponent's sweat, the shouting team mates. But now, everyone is inside this book, netbook i think (some are called computers, laptops or PCs). They want the experience and the fun but they don't want to get dirty. They don't want to sweat but they are concerned when the get fat. It's a bit ironic I think. Those stations (playstation i think) allows them to play with these figures and images that are no where near as real as actual people are. But modern people love it! I guess it saves them the effort of having to walk to the football field.

But now modern parents are concerned about their children and start to tell them to get out of the house and run around a bit. Can they blame their child? Soon, their children will grow up and die at a younger age than them because of diabetes, obesity, hypertension, heart attacks and all sorts. All those medicines they invented to help make humans healthier and live longer will go to waste. These future generations will go back dying at the same age their ancestors did.

Because modern people no longer hunt, they eat meat that are packed into metal tins or plastic packages. The source of their meat couldve been killed ages ago but the modern chemicals stop them from rotting. Modern people love it because its so much easier. You don't have to run, chase, spy or spend ages to get a good portion of meat like our ancestors had to. However, these preserved meat actually causes a disease that has an astronomical name: cancer. Modern doctors say if this disease run in the family, the later generations will develop it at a younger age and possibly die younger. It starts to make me wonder now.

Who's actually dying younger? Modern people or our ancestors? Its a cycle i guess. A very implicit one.

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Tears for a brother


He sat there on the brick wall, heaving a very heavy sigh. It was a sigh of emotion, of regret, of hope and shattered hope, of longingness and a bit of everything else. The cool night's breeze whiffed by, rustling the leaves of the trees he learnt to know so well, the perspirating grass all damp with dew as damp as his heart can be.

**********************************************

"Give a man a fish, he eats today. Teach him to fish, he eats for a lifetime"

"you sure about that? what if theres no river or sea to fish in?"

"find one then"

Izanagi gently patted his little's brother back. This little kid will grow up one day and be a man of himself. He is lost now, lost in the pool of identity, in search of someone or something to set his standards, to idolise and to cling on to that will spur him on for years to come. Its not easy to be an idol, to teach, to set an example and to lead. But he completely realises his task and marches on.

Dai waited for each chance to cling onto his big brother. He always thought that his big brother was the best in the world. He could do anything and everything. In particular, he always had been awed and fascinated by Izanagi's brilliance in football. It was his dream to play alongside his big brother.

***************************************************

"My little brother needs a little shaping up. Unlike me, he will take a longer time to develop but I insist he joins us"

"well, bring your little brother along then. We'll see where he'll fit in."

***************************************************

Dai's heart jumped with joy knowing that Izanagi will be introducing him to the club where he practices football. He never actually thought that Izanagi would eventually take him there since to him, he was in an absolutely different league than his big brother was. But Izanagi knew what was needed by Dai and wanted him to develop into a person at par to him, if not even better. Thats the only wish a big brother can have eventhough at times rivalry between brothers might get intense.

Dai got his kit ready for the biggest moment in his life; a recommendation by his star brother.

***************************************************

"Brother! Let's go practice at the club!"

"I can't Dai, I've got a match coming up. But by all means, that doesn't mean you should take a day off! Push yourself harder Dai. You are your only limit."

"But brother, you said you'll always go with me!"

"I'm sorry Dai, I can't always be there for you. The best I can do is show you the way. It's the home stretch that you must run yourself now. My part is done. But you never know, we might be able to train together next time", said Izanagi as he ruffled his little brother's hair and smiled.

Dai sulked and felt hopeless. Again his brother was advancing and leaving him behind. He was always the one who needed to catch up and do better. He felt like a loser.

******************************************************

Dai's mobile rang as Izanagi called from the stadium.

"What do you want?"

"Hey, are you still sulking? Cheer up little man! I'm done here and I scored. We lost though, 2-1. That means I'm going to have to work harder! The team is heading for the hotel to rest but I'm coming home straight so we can train together. How does that sound?"

Dai felt a surge of guilt but his face lit up like a pufferfish the very next moment.

"Do you mean it? OK! I'll get my kit ready and I'll see you there!".

There was no one happier in this world than this little boy who won the attention of his big brother.

*********************************************************

I can't make it. Love you little man.
the last few words from Izanagi's mobile.

*********************************************************

The brick wall overlooked Izanagi's grave. It had a fine tombstone, so big it hid almost the whole row of tombstones behind it. He was a man to remember, a loving brother, a responsible son, a super athlete and last but not least, a man true at heart.

Dai wiped the tear that trickled down his cheek. If only he had gone to practice without making Izanagi come back for him.. If only he'ld...

Face in hand, Dai bellowed out the longingness he had for his brother. At the top of his lungs, he screeched and cried for he will never again see his idol. Trees, grass, moon and star all bore witness to this episode of grief. The crave for a brother's attention filled the night air with tiny sprays of crystal clear tears. Tears for a brother.

At the back of his head, Izanagi's word echoed:

"teach him to fish, he eats for a lifetime"

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Sapa sangka


(shot taken at St Ives, Plymouth on my visit there to Kak Muna's place)

Astaghfirullah.

Semakin masa berlalu, semakin aku sedar yang terlalu banyak peluang-peluang yang aku telah sia-siakan. Mari singkap balik sejarah Mukhlis yang maybe ada orang tahu, ada orang tak tahu.

MCKK:
Solat jemaah kt surau kalo boleh mmg turun maghrib je. Pemalas nak mampus utk turun surau padahal kalo jengah je kepala kuar cube dorm 22 tuh, mmg bley nmpk sisa makanan yang tertumpah kt baju junior-junior yang selalu rajin ke surau tuh. Punya la dekat cube aku from surau. Tapi apakan daya, aku tak faham kenapa aku macam tuh. Hati baru separa terbuka kot. Sbb kadang-kadang tuh mmg terasa anjakan utk pergi ke surau. Bila tengok ammar slalu solat kt surau and pastu straight baca Quran, lagi la aku bertambah jelous. Entah kenapa hati nak jelous aku pon x paham. nak buat sendiri, mmg harapan ar. Mukhlis, mukhlis. bila ko nk sedar? When Ammar break the rules, aku bley plak la kan nk perli dia. "hrp smyg ja kt surau". Ammar being sensible. replied "hang jgn kata cmtu kt aku". Looking back, at least the worm did something that i didn't do. But still, i felt no loss.

KMB:
Masuk KMB mmg terbaik la, kena plak dpt group usrah dgn azri bohari (cmtu kot eja nama dia). seboleh-boleh, nk lari daripada dia. Ntah knapa la perangai aku setan sangat masa tuh, ada-ada je alasan aku bg. Kena plak usrah members lain yang sama group pon naik kepala cmtu jgk. diorg pon kira dok lap usrah ja. Tinggal harap yasin malam jumaat kt surau and ceramah and kelas agama jela nak nourish this soul of mine. Ustazah Johaina bukan main lagi suro aku jadi naqib. Mintak maaf la ustazah, saya ni terlalu naif utk ajar org, nk usaha utk diri sendiri pon x jln.

Leeds:
1st year dulu, Jue la plg semangat buat usrah. mentang-mentang aku dok st marks, aku jdkan tuh alasan mls gi usrah. yela, usrah slalu buat kt archery. aku nk jln ke sana pon dh brp minit (pdhal haram x jauh mana pon). Buat macam mana, semangat berkobar-kobar nk hidup mcm org putih. x org putih la dok p usrah selalu. nanti kena kongkong. x bebas bai. BEBAS KEPALA OTAK LU. jejak kaki kt club skali ja pastu terus trauma. sumpah aku rimas gila masa tuh dgn org sesak, bau arak smpi pening kepala, p toilet tgk yg dok urinate merata atas lantai. dahsyat arak ni, rakyat negara paling bertamadun pon boley jd mcm haiwan. nk sedapkan hati kwn2, "yeeah2, we defo hv to do that again". dlm hati "xde aku nk jejak kaki dh tmpt mcm tu". aku berani kata ive been there, done that. n most important, I DON'T ENJOY IT ONE WEENY BIT.

skrg 2nd year, aku tercari-cari balik kt mana Jue, kt mana budak usrah semua. Malang skali, Jue dh start blaja balik, dok buat masters dia. and skrg dh xde dh nk kumpul2 buat usrah, masing2 dh bawak haluan sendiri. Masa ni la jiwa aku gersang cari santapan. Thanx to nawi time summer dulu, sebab tempoh tuh la aku rasa aku semakin 'celik'. elok2 momentum tinggi, lutut plak operate. nk gerak ke sana sini, mmg payah. masjid aku tinggal. mula-mula alasan sbb xley jalan. tp pastu bla dh bley jln, aku bg alasan x boleh nk solat mcm biasa sbb kaki xley bengkok. mmg btol pon tp aku rasa malu bla aku teringat balik kt mamat sorg tuh yg slalu ke masjid masa bulan puasa. kaki dia besi dok tercucuk daripada hujung kaki smpi la ke tulang kering. siap mcm ada sangkar keliling kaki dia. member kita tuh selamba ja hayun tongkat bawah ketiak tuh utk tetap ke masjid. ni aku yg besi dok dlm tulang dh pon nk bg alsan cmtu. apa cerita. mamat tuh besi tercacak keluar wei! astaghfirullah.

Now that i am in a daze, theres only 1 place i can turn to and that is to turn to You, The Almighty. Alhadulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, you've granted my prayers and made me even more realize the importance of supplementing my soul. Solat and quranic recitals are not enough. I want to understand, i want to learn, I want to know. Oh Allah, please guide me through this journey and lay out for me the path to righteousnous. Ameen

sapa sangka, I am picking up again the things i discarded in life

Monday, 11 January 2010

Nafsu



*terkenang celoteh ustazah johaina*

"dan roh manusia itu diberikan 2 element: akal dan nafsu. Selepas Allah Taala mencipta kedua-duanye, ditanya kepada akal:

siapa tuhan kamu?

maka jawab akal: Allah adalah tuhanmu dan Allah jua adalah tuhanku.


lalu giliran nafsu pula tiba. Ditanya soalan sama kepada nafsu.

Siapa tuhan kamu?

jawab nafsu: Tuhanmu adalah Tuhanmu dan tuhanku adalah tuhanku


Ekoran keengganan nafsu mengakui kekuasaan Allah Taala, maka disiksa nafsu dengan sejuk yang tidak mungkin dibayang manusia. Na'uzubillahi min zaalik.

Ditanya sekali lagi kepada nafsu:

siapa tuhan kamu?

jawab nafsu: Tuhanmu adalah Tuhanmu dan tuhanku adalah tuhanku


Sekali lagi nafsu enggan tunduk kepada kekuasaan Allah Taala. Lalu disiksa nafsu dengan panas yang tidak terhingga, jauh lebih panas dari api dunia.

Ditanya lagi kepada nafsu:

Siapa tuhan kamu?

jawab nafsu: Tuhanmu adalah Tuhanmu dan tuhanku adalah tuhanku

maka, siksa ketiga muncul tiba. Nafsu enggan tunduk kepada Al-Khaalik. Lalu dibiarkan nafsu lapar dan dahaga. Disekat segala bekalan makanan dan minuman.
Setelah nafsu lemah tersiksa, ditanya kepada nafsu:

siapa tuhan kamu?

jawab nafsu: Allah Tuhanmu dan Allah jualah tuhanku"





*maaf jika ada ralat dari segi ketepatan kisah ini memandangkan ianya adalah satu flashback berusia lebih 2tahun dahulu*

Berpuasalah engkau kerana puasa itu mampu menahan keinginan, menajamkan fikiran, mengurangkan tutur kata sia-sia, memelihara lidah dari dosa, bau mulutmu seharum kasturi di sisi Tuhan dan pelbagai lagi manfaat. Hanya Allah Taala yang mampu membalas amalmu. InsyaAllah.