seru

its 4.19pm
azan maghrib baru je lepas
tuh seru kedua ada dlm kepala otak aku

seru pertama, tentulah seruan Illahi
pulangkan apa yang dipinjam
sometimes i think soo far ahead
i plan the greatest plans
i contemplate to do the craziest things
but then when reality sinks in
u just start to realize,
to do all that, u'll need LIFE

Diambang nk exam,
in the midst of my revving engine
pulun study last minit like owez
ihsan call gitau ayah munzir meninggal
emotionlessly, i went to their place
tgk munzir cool je
but deep inside i noe he's fucked up
he's devastated, as messed as the frantic sea
smashing walls of water onto a cliff
its anger, grief, hope, guilt, everything
all i wanna say is
i'll never know when my time comes

seru ketiga dlm kepala otak aku
i feel more enthusiastic to blog
to keep a web log of my life
as this is the only treasure munzir had of his late dad
if i die today, at least i know mama, ayah, family, kwn2
smua bley baca mende ni

it tears me apart
ble airmata munzir menitis atas laptop
reading and scanning each line of his dad's blog
searching for a hidden meaning
looking for that minute indicator
so intrinsic, so embedded
like a blind man on braille,
like an abled man in the dark,
teraba2 cari erti

It tears me apart
when I know that all it takes
is a couple of seconds
to tell my loved ones
how much they mean to me
how much i love them
how much i miss them
but find myself dangling helplessly
once LIFE is drawn out of this 65kg matter
once LIFE is drawn out of that greying head of mama's
once LIFE is drawn out of that chubby face of ayah's
and before it happens
i love u guys, just so that you know

i hope its neva too little too late for these things..