Ini tidak adil

salam

The title says all: INI TIDAK ADIL!!

haha, just to get things going really. its all about this person that is so special to me. I wonder why I don't do the same for everyone else. Its always her, year in year out. The effort I put in just to ensure I don't miss her red letter day. She's so special, I love her very much, as much as I love the others.

I've had my ups and downs, the time I had suicidal thoughts, the times I just wanted to ram my fist into the brick wall or bleed myself to death, or at least put myself in so much pain that my emotions are numbed. It comes down sometimes to me just needing to hear her voice and tell me things are going to be alright, despite the utter mess I was in. Apart from the folks, its again her voice that keeps me reminded that my existence has a purpose and not to end it prematurely. I've had a wonderdul life, better in her presence. I know I don't do much when I'm with her physically but its always having her presence that makes me happy. I was lost when I got here but she showed me how to get around things. She was there with the mature advice at times I was too shy or ashamed to seek advice from the folks. I know she goes through a lot herself, because having the same blood, I can feel her perks and lows. Its a telepathic thing. I'm sure she has elsewhere as a source of serenity at times in need. But for me, she's the one. She's closest to me, and also the fact that our lives are literally a rollercoaster ride. The plateu, the sudden drops, the adrenaline spikes and the end of the ride that you anticipate in a love-hate way. Love because you just can't take anymore unexpected turns on the ride, but hate because you enjoy the adrenaline rush so much you want it to go on.

Anyway, long story short, HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY KAK MUNA! I'm so glad I have someone so cheerful as you as my sister to look up to.You've given me colours throughout my life and I know you'll inherit the ability to teach as well as mama has been doing all along, if not better. When I look at you, I see burning passion and I hope you'll continue to inspire me throughout my walk of life. May we all, you, me, the family be granted happiness and success in this world and the world to come. Ameen.

ps: miss you loads!!!! *hugs*