Anger

Assalam

Yesterday was terrible. The worst blip I had in all my anger management history. Two guys were floored with my fist, all because of a football match.

It might sound really stupid, but there was a lot more to it. They hacked again and again at our feet, never once did a tackle seem aimed at the ball. I lost my senses when I was tackled from the back and front, leaving my shin and ankle bruised and swollen. That tipped the scale of things, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Punches were thrown, one guy on all fours, begging me not to kill him.

"Aku tak wat pape dowh kt ko".

Yeah right. He was the opponent's goalkeeper. A doctor working in the UK, well known for placing opportunistic punches and kicks whenever an altercation between players occur and fleeing the site when he's had his fix of adrenaline. My first punch was into the jaw of the defender who tried to break my leg. The subsequent 2 punches were into Dodo's face. The rascal goalkeeper who:

1. Slapped the face of the referee when he was redcarded for two consecutive sliding challenges (that could've left the other guys disabled) during Notts Games final.
2. Stamp on a fellow players face with football boots after he tackled him to the ground.

This guy has a history of misconduct but since he's a doctor, a graduate of Manchester Uni, nothing seems to be done to him.

At the peak of my anger, Dodo ran all the way from his goal line, threw a punch and a stab kick at me. That was too much for me to swallow, I grabbed him by the collar and floored him with two punches. He was left on his arse, on the groud, at my feet. In my mind, there was only one thing left to do: rip this guy's face off with the sole of my football shoes.

"aku x wat pape dowh, aku x wat pape"

Fortunately, I was held back by his teamates, and seeing me bound in arms, he stood up and kicked me in the chest. Felt like a slap but them letting him do it again was what angered me.

This was the first time someone stood up to him and will continue to do so if he ever dares to repeat such conducts.

Despite all that, I might have floored him but I was the weak one. I was weaker than him because I had the physical strength to overpower them all, but I let my anger take over me. Even until now I don't see how I'll ever be able to just laugh it off or walk away from such foul play, but I admit I am still too weak.

Ya Allah, perbaikilah sifatku sebaik kejadianku. Bantulah aku dalam mengawal kemarahan. Aku khuatir satu hari nanti, marah ini akan menyebabkan kesusahan kepadaku dan orang-orang yang aku sayang. Kau mudahkanlah urusanku Ya Allah.