Reflect

Assalam

First day on paeds flew by. I sat at the empty table in the restaurant, all seats for myself. I was not selfish, its just that no one was really there at 4.30pm.

I read and reread my previous posts. Sigh.

"don't say things you don't mean because people will hold on to it".

Yes, cliche but I've been told that many times. Theres a reason why its a cliche. It bears the truth.

I look back and realise how words of encouragement were showered at me from my beloved folks. Deep down all they wanted was to spur me on, make sure I work hard enough for the better of my own future. Yet I took te words literally and was left holding on to something that may never materialise. I whine and sulk but I should have known better. It was words of motivation bck then. Like what I saw in her aged eyes, I held on to what ayah said. Thank you ayah. I'm better now.

But what was all that compared to the child who's parents put out cigarettes on his body? The one who vomits constantly day and night and suffers permanent brain damage after being shook by mother's new boyfriend? Or the 33week premature twins whom were given birth to by a cocaine-heroin-methodone addict mother who never came back to see them once the hospital discharged her?

If humans held grudges, these souls are definitely the ones to understandably do so. They deserve to question why they were treated as such, because all they did was to come to this world, nothing more. Not a slight particle of wrongdoing, no matter how you twist and turn the circumstances. Bend it over backwards and forth, these infants are innocent. Astaghfirullah, I was so ungrateful with life. I felt I had been wronged by Ayah and even if he did get me a new phone, I'ld probably be ashamed to accept, with these indiviuals playing at the back of mind. It was not a neccesity, it was luxury back then. How badly they will be scarred is a mystery. Physical, mental and emotions all mashed up so bad that it surfaces as a troubled and annoying child. Poor biopsychosocial circumstances leads to a perpetuation of such suffering, creating a vicious cycle of generations and generation of disturbed individuals. Before we judge others, take a moment to consider what that person has been through and insyaAllah we will be receptive of others around us. If we cannot break the cycle, then let us at least be 'the person who was nice to them'.